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Knowing you as well as I do, it struck me as odd that you would write an entire book on the subject without addressing the LGBT community. AS: That’s a great question, and I’m glad you asked.

When I taught this content to our churches, I met with about 13 of our attenders who are apart of the LGBT community.

AS: I don’t know that they are rules so much as assumptions.

One of the big assumptions I challenge is: As long as I’m in love and the chemistry is right, then everything is going to turn out right.

I challenge guys face to face and have told our whole congregation this, and they are aghast. Men don’t want women to bring secrets into the relationship, why shouldn’t we be open as well.

RNS: You say that “love is unnatural.” A lot of people would say love is inherent to who we are as humans and one of the most natural things we can feel or express or do. AS: Love is natural in terms of a feeling, but not in terms of doing.

The feeling part is “we love the same music and restaurants and we can talk for hours.” The doing part of love is patience, self-control, and selflessness, and putting others first.

RNS: If these are the new rules for love, sex, and dating, what are some of the old rules that you don’t think work anymore?Our sexuality goes way beyond what is physical, and we see that especially in the realm of sexual abuse.RNS: Word on the street is that your church is becoming “gay-friendly,” whatever that means.This is more about getting ourselves ready for the time when we meet someone that there’s chemistry with and we’re falling in love with, we’ll actually be prepared to keep the commitment we’re making.This is not simply a book for people who want to get married; it is for anyone who wants to have successful, long term relationships.

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